A Failed Diplomacy

We began after the party had rested in the secure room at the top of the dungeon. When they wake up however they hear a bubbling noise, like some enormous beast is hungry. The Shugenja has now decided that he has had enough of pondering and charges out ahead to see what is going on. It turn out that the sand pit at the bottom has now become a rolling plane of fire. This illuminates the entire cavern and is obviously something that should not be touched nor messed with. He throws a rock down into it. Then the barbarian decides that pissing in it is a brilliant plan. Adventurers everyone, bastions of brilliant intelligence.

So with that done the hole erupts, and a giant lava plume comes out of it. Despite requests to the contrary this does not singe the barbarian's dick off, but merely creates a humanoid figure that is on fire, and in fact burns the very air around him, leaving air for some reason but burning any within the radius. Not understanding what is going on the party results to plan A, kill shit and ask questions later. Of course they are fairly inept at actually killing things, especially things that are immune to fire, their main source of damage. So what results is a comical chase around the circular cavern with Benny Hill music in the background.

With that craziness going on the Shugenja decides to simply step out, retreating into the sleeping rooms from before. From there he realizes he has a spell called silent image and wonders what it does. Given his skill in the illusory arts he decides that he will create images, a lot of them. He creates dozens of the barbarian, a few of the rogue, and a few fiery humanoids just to add to the confusion. Of course this doesn't help the party too much because they do not actually know that he is casting this. With that the rogue continues shooting arrows and doing no damage to the fiery being, the sorcerer starts freaking the fuck out, and the barbarian continues doing what he is doing, losing in a fight to the elemental.

The figures that were conjured eventually start exploding randomly, changing form, and in general screwing with anyone watching. Finally they form into one enormous fiery being and then explode into a bunch of humanoid figures that begin killing themselves and each other until there is nothing left. It was an incredibly entertaining display, but ultimately didn't accomplish too much, though it was a decent distraction. Then the Shugenja goes and heals the barbarian who collapsed at his feet with zero. With the barbarian up and under constant healer supervision they manage to kill it, and then get the fuck out because the ceiling is shaking.

Turns out the purple worm that opened up this place is back and he is pissed. Aside from that though as they retreat they steal a few more mender corpses. After running away they travel through the dessert awhile. Eventually they arrive back at the kobold town with little incident. There they go back to the Golrog wizard and he tells them a little bit about the stone they found. It turns out it is a variant of a weirdstone, a powerful artifact that prevents divination and teleportation. This one however is portable, something that was unknown previously. It could have huge impacts on warfare because of the threat that teleportation poses. Now this artifact is wanted by many, many people, primarily the goblin people who want to live in isolation but are having a bitch of a job.

This however is a less pertinent issue as it turns out a dwarven army has taken up residence outside of the city and is planning to take it back for the dwarven people, who have a slight dislike for kobolds. Not quite as much as gnomes, but still. The sorcerer wishes to parley and to avert violence, the rest of the party disagrees, though not quite violently. Despite this they both head to the camp and talk to the leader. First the sorcerer convinces the dwarves to stop in exchange for the mender's corpses, and the promise of more if he never attacks the kobolds. Of course then the Shugenja decides to go and ruin it all by telling him where to get more mender corpses, and declaring open war on the kobold.

Hearing this, and with a little whisper in his ear by a certain changeling assassin the sorcerer decides to go and warn the kobolds. He convinces them all to evacuate and then goes back to the dwarven camp to tell the leader about this. Unfortunately the leader is not happy, and decides that torturing him for the location of the kobolds is a decent plan. One of his bodyguards finds this plan delightful and begins it with glee. Luckily the Shugenja is there to keep him alive for more torture, and he is left in manacles as the army decides to check the nearby area after the sorcerer starts spouting out random locations.

A Clockwork Ooze, Is It Tasty?

When last we left the heroes they had just assisted in burning down a town. Good for them I suppose, even if arson it not the solution to all of life's problems it was to this one. They then had no idea what to do, so decided to camp out in the mushroom fields, because hell they were tired and had nothing better to do. Nope, nothing better to do, no kobolds who might need help or anything. When they wake up in the morning they find that their plan actually went fine, the town has completely surrendered and a good portion of it lies burned, especially south of the river. In the middle of town there is a gathering of kobolds.

Now the kobold bard in the party decides he needs to go to the leader and discuss with him alone. He had lied about the payment the party would receive and knew they would be pissed if he came out with nothing, so decided that negotiating was far and away the best option. Of course his negotiation skills are the not the best, as he is cocky and believes himself invincible. He manages to convince the leader of the kobolds to talk to him alone in a separate tent, though the leader is not so stupid and brings along two guards. Once they arrive in the tent the bard recieves his payment, a portable trap, and they think business is done.

The bard however thinks otherwise and tries to stab the leader, maybe to take his place, maybe because he was just stupid. Either way he missed, and was in a terrible situation. He managed to live through it, but just barely, as he was thrown to the ground by grease and stabbed by a huge number of kobolds. Upon surrendering though the leader was generous. He realized that the kobold city would not be accepted and would be under constant assault, and they would need adventurers on their side to stay alive.

He offered the party a job, he knew of a recently excavated tavern out in the dessert which was said to have a decent amount of riches, and sent them after it, hoping that riches would be enough of a driving force to keep them coming back. The rogue on hearing this gets out very quickly and tries to find the place himself. The party shugenja however has other ideas and wants to get his dog trained by the kobolds. They do this for the period of a week actually, while the sorcerer learns a new spell from the wizard outside of town.

While this is going on the clueless rogue is slowly starving and dying of dehydration in the middle of the desert, knowing the coordinates of the tavern, but not how to actually get there. Luckily just before he dies he finds a source of food and water and manages to get to the tavern while not dying. Immediately upon entering he finds two orc corpses and is assaulted by a fearsome monster.

This monster is a little clockwork spider that can barely damage him. In the end they have an incredibly long fight with him not able to damage the creature at all, but it unable to deal more than scratches to the rogue. In the end he wrestles it into a barrel after lassoing it and tying it up. He is afraid what it might do however, and sits on top of the barrel for days to ensure that it doesn't escape. He has nothing really to eat though, and is forced to resort to eating one of the orc's arms. He is very careful not to mention this to the party when  they arrive.

Once the party arrives however the sorcerer wants to befriend the spider, and after a little while training it and a little bit of acid splashed all around he does manage to tame it. Now he has a pet, though it does not have a name yet. It can't do much, but the sorcerer greatly enjoys it, despite the rest of the party developing a small hatred for it, especially the rogue who spent minutes wrestling it under control. Undaunted the party continues into the rest of the tavern and finds three strange purple creatures on the ceiling. These are oozes, and they have acid which dissolves metal.

This terrifies the barbarian, who is scared of losing his sword. He fights with a plank of a barrel for the remainder of the dungeon. They deal with these three creatures with some speed, though they have a large amount of health for such a small creature and can deal some decent damage. Next they travel further into the tavern, discovering an enormous pit descending far into somewhere. Guarding this pit is two clockwork spiders, which are both dispatched in one hit due to the bard's fiery music.

Around the pit there is a doorway which the party knocks on, and discovers one remaining orc. He tells them how the rest of his company was killed by the spiders and oozes, and how he is the only one remaining because he hid in a room. They then immediately go to sleep in the room, though get distracted by a secret panel. In the panel is a safe, but upon opening the safe four of the oozes pop out, having devoured everything inside of it. What ensues is a chaotic battle where everyone grows close to dying, but just manages to hang on.

After a full rest the party sets out again and descends down the pit, though the shugenja stays at the top because his dog can't descend ladders and he doesn't want to leave him. The pit is lined with tunnels which look like they've been dug hastily then abandoned, as if they were looking for something. Descending more ladders and seeing more pits eventually the party comes upon a giant sand pit at the very bottom. They know this is a trap, but still go into it after some moments of discussion.

The barbarian goes first and sinks to the bottom and is subsequently nommed on by an antlion, who he begins stabbing with his dagger, the only weapon he can use while grabbed. Luckily the bard's flaming music again allows the party to triumph, though not before the ladder up is knocked down and the barbarian falls to unconsciousness, and the sorcerer is left at the bottom of the pit with no way up. After much debate and attempted training of the spider the sorcerer creates a tree with a token gained before, and uses mage hand to lift a rope and secure it to the remaining ladder allowing the shugneja to come down and heal the barbarian.

The party then looks around for loot, finds some dead orcs and steals their stuff. They then decide they need to rest again given how low the sorcerer and shugneja are on spells, and settle in for a restless night.

Diplomacy and Arson: A Likely Couple

The three brave party members are off to see the kobolds after a few days of rest. The first plan of action is find out how many there are, then murder exactly that number. They know that the little bastards have been troubling the local mushroom farmers, so head over to the farms and see whats going on. It turns out that the kobolds have been stealing food, and that can't go on, otherwise the town would grow less fat and more healthy. So they look around for the location of the kobold hole, and eventually find it, though it is somewhat less opulent than a hobbit hole. The send their talking man out first of course, and the little kobold bard descends down the deep dark hole.

After walking for not too long he trips a wire and gets covered by a bunch of oil, though is luckily not set on fire. This doesn't perturb him too much though, and he continues until he hears a small squeaky voice, telling him that only one may continue. He walks for another couple minutes, and finds a single kobold leaning out of the wall. They have a fairly amiable discussion, and the bard decides that it's time to help the kobolds to attack the town, as they have been oppressed for far too long.He comes out and finds his party has left, to go and train the mage's dog. 

Wandering around town blindly surprisingly does not help with this, though asking around they do find someone who helps them to a dog trainer. This man is a new player, a rogue named Ean. Also while wandering around they bump into a sorcerer elf who recognizes the barbarian from the boat. While he is not actually an elf, but a changeling, he also decides to join up with this party, not knowing anything else to do. The group then wanders back to the whole and find the bard, who tells them what they have to do. Here they have a large discussion about the morality of both sides, and in the end the party is largely divided, but grudgingly agrees to help the kobolds.

Before they try to burn the town however they go to the leader of the town, a gruff dwarf, and try to convince him to let the kobolds live like regular people. This doesn't go over so well, as he unequivocally decides that it won't work, and goes out hunting because he doesn't really like governing the town too much. They also manage to let out that the kobolds will attack in two days, but decide that the the current night will actually be the perfect time to attack, as it will before they are actually expecting the attack.

In the preparations for the attack they gather oil, flint and steel, and the changeling tries to infiltrate the guards. This does not go well however, as he is arrested by the member of the guards he is impersonating, and taken to the captain of the guards. The captain reveals he knows that the wizard is a changeling, and casts a small enchantment to identify him as one from then on. This puts a little bit a damper on his plans, because in addition to this he almost told the captain that they were attacking that night. Woops.

Despite all this they meet up outside the town at dusk and decide to assault the town, deciding they have enough numbers that it should go smoothly. However they forgot one thing, the elf arms dealer. He comes upon their group with his two guards, and tells them how he knows all about their plans, and that he will refuse to allow the destruction of the town to happen. This is when one of the guards decides he has had enough, and slowly shifts to the form of the elf. In one smooth motion he stabs a dagger straight through the elf's heart, and brings his other fist into the second guards throat, utterly destroying it. He then says, "Burn it all down, I love a little anarchy." 

He then disappears, and the party is stunned. Not literally of course, as they subsequently run over to the body and begin looting. After the most important thing is done they all set out to the sides of the town, and prepare to start the fires. The rogue however has a different role, he sneaks through the town and infiltrates the leader of the town's tent as quietly as he can. Unfortunately the leader is not there, and it turns out he wasn't as quiet as he thought he was. A guard comes in, and without the element of surprise the rogue drops very quickly.

The sorcerer saw all this through his familiar, and since previous going through a very similar experience he decided he needed to journey into town to save him. This goes better than expected due to some well made bluff checks. And enough magic missiles to bring down a horse, or a large jailer. Letting his comrade out of jail and healing him they both flee the scene. Unfortunately before they can get back to the farm they are confronted by several armed guards. By this point the fires have already begun, and they are the obvious culprits. The rogue however slipped away into the darkness, and the wizard was left alone to deal with 4 guards.

He ran, as fast as he could, calling for any help he could. Luckily he did actually get it in the form of the kobolds arriving with fires all around. The rest of the party charging in to help with the combat didn't hurt either, though by the end the barbarian and rogue had gone down, and the shugenja was on his last legs. In the end the true savior of the party was the dog, with some fiery support from the bard. And thus the party stood, looting the captain's body, staring at their handiwork. Since they had arrived they had disturbed they had disturbed an eel's habitat and killed said eel, dealt with some merfolk who were tormenting the town, helped to end one man's semi-dominance of the town, and then burned it all down. An adventurous couple of days all things told.

A New Journey, Leads Immediately to Disaster.

Well I started a new campaign today, with new players, new environment, and new technology. It's quite a change. A laptop will now be my main tool in DMing because saving that paper is honestly going to be a huge benefit, especially when I'm paying for everything. That and it means I can look up all monster stats pretty much instantly, as well as obscure rulings and other things of that kind. So that's the new technology, and it's working pretty great, with notepad documents for all the little notes I need to make in play.

As for the new environment, because going backwards through lists is cool, I discovered our dining room table is small, tiny really, and it's quite a change from the enormous white folding table we used to play at. We have space for about 3 players, and that's it, and luckily that's all we have right now. So that's the other thing, a much smaller party. Right now it looks like it's a Kobold Bard, a Goblin Shugenja, and a Dwarf Barbarian. It took a couple of hours to get all these characters set up, but that's usual for first time players. It's such a contrast setting up 3.5 characters with people who simply don't know the game, I mean they didn't know what the basic stats where, it was just quite a contrast.

In terms of players I won't do names, but we have someone who has never played before who's fairly into roleplaying as the Bard, a semi-experienced player who is playing a Thog Smash Barbarian, very simple, and a moderately experienced player playing the Shugenja, somewhat the force of order for the party, especially the Bard who never knows when to back down. The game is D&D 3.5, with a few little modifications like using the Color system for alignment and a number of smaller changes, including a uniqueish homebrew world.

On to the story though, we start with the Barbarian and Shugenja arguing over how many elements there are, 4, 5, or 118. These characters have never met before, but are newcomers to the small fishing village. The Bard then steps in to mediate the argument, and immediately finds a companion in the Shugenja, though they both agree that staying away from the Barbarian is for the best, as he is quick to anger and not to be trusted. With that they head to the nearest tavern for adventure, because they don't have any other ideas.

After a small confrontation with some Elves, as well as some confusion about what role Goblins and Kobolds play in society, they go to the barkeep and ask about any local news. A note should be made here, there are no humans nor any human-offspring type races, with them all dying out many years ago. Anyway it turns out Merpeople had been attacking local fisherman and stealing their fish, and no one was sure why, given until a few weeks ago they had been at a comfortable peace.

So the brave duo set out to go murder some Merpeople, who are clearly evil and need to die. They do actually try diplomacy first, after some knowledge checks and research, and after the bard delivers a stunning monologue to the water a few Mermen pop out and tell about the terrible dire eel that had killed their leader and ravaged their people. Not in that way. This seemed like a job for brave adventurers, but first they need supplies, and some poor sap willing to tank for them.

While walking back they stumbled upon the Barbarian and decided here is a man who we can use to take hits and not complain about it. So with that found, they go to the local fishing store and buy a net, which they figure they will wrassle the eel with, and done will be done. So they go to sleep just outside of town. Unfortunately they wake up to the sound of footsteps, and they run outside to see what's going on. They find the elves from earlier, and confront them in a very direct and violent way.

They win the fight, because the elves were weak and they were strong, but unfortunately they have two bodies to dispose of. Maybe 3 given one of them was cleanly bisected. They decide to give them a shallow burial and take the heads for bait, then move onto the other side of town. The next day they prepare for the assault, and rush towards the location of the Merfok's village. After some initial surveillance, namely some failed spot checks they charge in haphazardly.

The Barbarian takes all the impact, with the eel latching onto his leg and continuously biting him almost killing him, if not for the healing of the Shugenja. The Bard provided inspiration from the shore, not wanting to get wet. This was also where the Shugenja's guard dog who he had bought came into play, assisting very little but providing motivational support. With that done and the eel fully looted, getting a trident and an eele eye they head back to town and the Merfolk to claim their rewards.

They gain some minor magical accoutrements from the Merfolk, and some praise from the townspeople, free inn stays and other perks like that. They then investigate around the town selling some things and buying some things, until they find out that there is a black market arms dealer who meets during the night, who can provide them with some sneaky weapons. After an extraordinary performance from the bard during the day earning some extra coin they decide to see what is available illegally.

They go to the prerequisite location and have a little talk with the dealer, do some basic diplomacy, and get an instrument blade for the Bard. The Bard however tries to stiff the man, saying he made the instrument out of tune, this does not go over well. Though it doesn't immediately resort to violence, it costs the Bard some extra cash, then everyone is prepared to go away happily, but not the Bard, no he makes a snap decision and casts a spell to make the dealer and his guards sleepy. Again, bad things happen, but this time it is immediate violence.

The dealer rushes in and stabs the bard, and his bodyguards immediately put down the Shugenja, with the might strength of orcs. A surrender is immediately negotiated, with the party becoming indentured servants to this arms dealer who may have connections all over town. This could get interesting.

The Greatest Adventure

It has been quite some time since I've written a journal entry. Our party has stormed a castle and plundered its depths since then. We have also picked up some new and rather interesting allies. Now I believe we are truly invincible. We have established ourselves as a significant threat on the world scale, but with all enemies defeated I think we may truly conquer it all. Then maybe they'll understand why I did what I had to.

After resting for a time we decided to investigate the next room. Inside was an enormous and truly destructive creature, an Aboleth. Normally fiercely intelligent creatures this one in particular acted more like a pet, flailing with its tentacles instead of using its psychic abilities. The warrior with me and the other side of our party quickly demolished the beast, though its mucus had adverse effects on some members of our party, enabling them only to breathe water, and not air.

I had no problems of that sort. After dealing with the beast and a few of its, or maybe its master's underlings we proceeded onwards to the next chamber. Unfortunately we had to wade through sewage and mucus to get there, where we encountered yet another Aboleth. Again we were able to defeat it, though it was more difficult due to the water and our druid's crocodile turning feral.

Arriving at the next chamber we find one of the most impressive beasts in this citadel, an enormous three armed troll. Luckily I had magics to counter a foe of this kind, and using a few strength draining spells he was soon rendered utterly incompetent. After the combat we investigated around and determined it was a relatively safe place to rest, and prepared for the inevitable battle with the master of this place.

Upon setting out with full spells and health we were ready to take on whatever was ahead. Our foe turned out to be a mind flayer, though not a particularly nasty one. He had with him yet another three armed troll but that was all, and with the sheer numbers we had he could not take it and went down quickly, though he severely damaged the warrior part of our party.

Once his beast fell I was able to intimidate the mind flayer into surrendering and joining our crew. He would be given brains occasionally, and bring with him a vast amount of expertise as well as crew members. He brought a number of abominations, and one Aboleth who will soon man our submersible boat, giving us surprise and tactical advantages.

We also learned there is another realm, a Far Realm where the abominations dwell, perhaps an area of conquest once I have amassed a greater collection of knowledge about these creatures. Numbers will not outweigh the sheer strength of fear, not in the hands of a mster like me. Before too long they will all realise what should happen.

So I imprinted the new members of our crew, if necessary I will destroy one to show my power, then they will all fall in line. The Mind Flayer truly believes we are working in his best interests however so I believe he will follow along willingly, at least for awhile.

A Typical Day

So far the day has been eventful. I couldn't say what a typical day is like for adventurers, but most don't involve fighting zombie pirates as well as mimics and gargoyles. A whole range one might say, and one that I'm not particularly fond of, especially mimics, who's adhesive is simply impossible to get off. I'll start from where I left off last time. We were setting off for parts unknown, and I enchanted my armor and the warrior's weapon. I am now wearing a mithral twilight chain shirt, of admirable quality. Before the end of this it shall be fearsome too, but for now it is merely protection.

Coming to an island we know little about and we find a few seemingly wrecked ships. Naturally our small fleet goes to investigate but are attacked by cannons from those ships. An unexpected predicament, but given what we've been through we are prepared. We set the flagship for ramming speed, and crashed into the first ship while our other two, more heavily armed vessels proceeded to take apart the other two ships. Upon closer inspection there were some strange undead folk aboard the opposing ships, not unlike me though far less intelligent.

The party still does not know of my condition, though I believe the Inquisitor suspects. As of yet it has not been a problem, but sometimes they arise with something like this. I will have to be careful of who reads this diary. Nevertheless my master of necromancy allows me some degree of control over the non-living, forcing them to cower in fear before me. The rest of the crew, including the new shipwright who doesn't seem to know the first thing about building ships, but is a veritable minotaur in a fight, clean up the rest with little difficulty, though the ship slowly sinks from both our cannons and the defeat of her crew members.

Luckily our druid friend has the ability to transform into animals, and once the battle is done he descends to the bottom of the sea and returns with a chest of treasure. This however turned out to be false, and I was glad we had the warrior try to open it, because it sprung up and attacked him. I quickly cowed it into submission, and as it was cowering the shipwright smashed it across the deck, breaking it apart. This done we set up for the island and came upon a wondrous sight.

In the center of an enormous waterfall stood a castle, enormous in size and equally mysterious, it floated over a graveyard of ships, so many drowned at the bottom of the waterfall. Had we not some experienced crew members it may have been us as well, but we landed safely at a small docking platform, though the tower was not unattended. We unfortunately had to leave two of our ships behind, but they will be safe with a good number of crew and cannons.

Just outside of this building was two gargoyles, imposing but not particularly deadly, until they rose up and attacked. Using one of my newly acquired spells I summoned an enormous skeleton to saw through one of their bones, and it did so magnificently, quickly silencing it. The other was quickly dispatched by the party and we quickly moved on. After breaking through several doors we were faced with an obstacle, a bridge filled with holes.

Luckily several of our party were trained enough to leap the gap, and pull the rest of us along. With that done we blew through the wall to the next room and faced a Bulette. A fearsome beast, with four legs and enormous plating, luckily it was not so study on its feet when a patch of grease appeared beneath it, and was quickly felled while it lay on the ground. Unfortunately it had company, and several orcs, and another Bulette arrived in the room.

By this point I was running low on energy, only able to cast the most basic of spells, though my aura of intimidation still scared some of the foes. The orcs quickly retreated, and we stood victorious. Now there were multiple paths, so we split up to cover more ground quickly. The warrior, mercenary captain, and warlock came with me to pursue the fleeing orcs, and arrive in a large ballroom lavishly decorated. The orcs refused to listen to diplomacy, and fled again.

We followed and found an aberrant being, part man and part far realms creature, who we were able to defeat with relative ease, though he was a spellcaster who summoned an ape to defend himself, I must investigate that further. Unfortunately I must leave off now, I will write more when I have time.

Jail Break

Have you ever woken up and seen the world in an entirely new light? Now I have, as I opened my eyes and saw everything as it truly was. The world is made of fools,  fools who live until they die, and that is that. I have defeated this, and though it was a painful experience, and difficult, now I defy all those who believe in a life span. My life is endless, and I will never let anyone attempt to do otherwise. They will all fear me, especially if they find out what I truly am. But they always fear what they don't understand, so some day when they all realize the superiority of the undead they will submit.

We recently acquired a few new members to our small party, as well as a new ship. But as I left off in the last entry we were fleeing from a large number of guards who refused to retreat even when shown true fear. The warlock, the warrior and I ran from the mob, while the druid flew overhead providing aerial information. Unfortunately when we reached the gate to enter the dock our boat was in we met with the apparent ruler of this island, a vice admiral. He stood towering above all of us, and demanded we hand over our prisoner, this was not in the plan, and I had run low on spells, with only weak magics left.

What I did have however was a scroll of mists. As we ran up to the gate I unleashed the power within and we were able to escape, though unfortunately the druid's pet was grappled by the man so we had to abandon it. We ran again from the mob but before we got to the ship the druid arrived and reformed into his human shape. He informed us that our crew had been incapacitated and that the Vice Admiral had already arrived on our ship, a most unfortunate situation. We then slept in one of the nearby buildings, and undignified condition but unfortunately unavoidable.

Upon waking we decided the best course of action was to go to the boat where we met up with the inquisitor who had been searching for heretics throughout the night. I don't trust that one, he seems to be adventuring with us only in the belief that we will eventually be adversaries, a precarious situation. As it stood though most of the crew had been taken to prison, with only our mercenary companion still with us. For the next few days we began preparing for the assault on the prison. Prior to actually assaulting the prison we had the inquisitor gain the bounties for both Travis and the warlock.

During that time was when my eyes were opened, as I discovered the city had a substantial underground population, who with the right motivation were able to grant we what I had been searching for. I have not surpassed my master in knowledge, and will not have until I can raise him, but I will outlive him, one way or another. For now however it has granted me unholy resilience, much greater than before, as well as access to a new line of spells, which will allow me to keep an eye on both the party and the crew.

The assault on the jail went much better than expected. We picked the lock on the back door and quickly shut down all resistance through intimidation, leaving not a trail of corpses but merely unconscious guards who would then fear us, and also remember that we spared them. Mercy is not the domain of the weak, but of the intelligent. Upon arriving at the actual cells I created an enormous web disabling almost all of the guards who had bunkered in the room, and intimidating the rest into giving up their weapons.

After stripping the armor and weapons off all these foes we released our crew as well as the motley band of what are in all likelihood rapists and murderers who are now members of our crew. I'll be watching them very closely. But we parted ways with these criminals allowing our pirate captain to guide them safely back to the ship. From here we went to the docks seeking our other prisoner, Travis. Unfortunately once we arrived at the dock we found Reaver, the man from the first island who's boats we destroyed.

Luckily we have grown since then, and were able to utterly demolish his guards and himself. First the druid did a bombing run dropping alchemist's fire and acid destroying the boat they were on nearly completely. Then we created a windstorm forcing the guards to stay on the boat, which was now filled with fire and an inescapable web. They effectively had no chance to escape, and fear tactics destroyed the rest of them.

In the end the Admiral managed to stumble his way out of the burning web, right into the warrior and mercenary, and he was brought to unconsciousness swiftly afterwards. With that we took the fully functional boat that was in this dock and sailed out with everyone, subsequently meeting up with our other two vessels, and setting out for parts unknown.

The City of Fear

We arrived on a new island today, or more of a floating city really, a chance to further my knowledge and perhaps find a cure for this ever-present threat of death. With the first signs of a proper civilization in a while we prepared to unload a variety of ill-gotten gains. Upon docking we ran into an unkind gentleman who demanded we pay for our boats stay. After a brief discussion with just him and me he conceded to let us stay for half of his original asking price, like any proper man would.

After some shrewd negotiating with several merchants along the waters we had amassed a good amount of wealth, and I had earned several new spells. We also found out that there was apparently a bounty posted on most of our heads, for little to no reason, apparently word travels fast around these islands. After taking the posters don we retreated to the ship to discuss the next course of action. On the way however we were assailed by some so-called bounty hunters, who believed themselves better than us, because of our "small bounties".

Within seconds the leader and his comrade had fallen down, and the rest looked terrified, it is truly amazing what one spell can do to mere warriors. Subsequently the party surrounded the two who had fallen, taking their weapons, and small coin that they had on them. The locals fear me now, the very notion of me terrifies them. Occasionally I every scare myself. My group is not though, they will stay by me, even when they discover what depths I may go to.

Throughout the day we commissioned a new flag for our ship, as well as a good amount of repairs which would be needed due to our previous naval battle. I retired at the end of the day to my library, but sunk into rest after not too long, as is need for arcane preparation. I am growing increasingly worried about these pirates, though they seem to be loyal, they have little stake in our fortunes, and could potentially sail off without us, though with our wealth. Perhaps I will research a way to bring them further under control.

As of now though I set about some of our party to go on a resource gathering mission, to find the location of a man named Travis, who has a large bounty on his head. The one armed man and I went underground, also looking for leads but our primary purpose was monetary gain, through which we entered a fighting tournament. It was also a test for the warrior, and while he did perform better than his previous attempts, he still did not do well.

In the end we were of course victorious, due mostly to my fearsome magic. And with that I knew exactly how we could take out Travis, and any possible guards of his. The other members of our group had obtained the possible location of Travis, so we arrived in the unnamed tavern, and asked around. Unfortunately no one knew anything, apart from an extremely fat man who upon intimidation still knew nothing. Most of the room fled under tables and behind chairs, but one particular paladin seemed affronted by our presence.

It turned out he was a follower of Travis, and that the whole tavern was orchestrated as a trap, as paladins rushed in from all directions. A paladin's belief is so fervent that he does not shy from me, he does not believe in fear as it where. Someday I will teach them the true meaning of it, but not this day. At this point I had enacted several powerful defensive spells, so was effectively impossible to hit, aside from the rifles which many of the paladins seemed to have.

Due in part to the druid's new ability to summon a sizable amount of wolves and to fly we defeated them with relative ease, but after searching all through the tavern found nothing. With that disappointment we prepared to leave, and upon exiting found Travis sitting on top of a building, laughing. I immediately sunk a crossbow bolt into him, to initiate the conversation on my terms. After a brief discussion we round he could not be reasoned with, but with a flash of light I made him visible, rendering his traditional trick invalid.

The party slowly climbed up to the top of the building, and with enough wolves we were almost able to put him down, though a few more riflemen did nothing to help matters. He retreated off the roof, but the warrior finally showed his validity as a comrade, and managed to deliver the final blow.

The yetis stole your spellbook

As I write this we stand a chance at taking out our pursuers in an open fight, having gained several allies and a ship since coming to the frozen island. It was truly an inhospitable place, and I'd like to avoid anything that cold, from now on, excluding the strange egg we recovered from the peak of the mountain. It seems to generate a field of cold around it, no matter what is around it, including fire. But before discovering the mysteries of the egg we must ascertain how we acquired it.

As we came upon the frost island first we encountered some marauders, openly flying a pirate flag, and believing us to be a mere merchant ship open fired. This was disadvantageous to both groups, damaging both of our future ships. Luckily ours was significantly more durable than theirs, and we took the direct approach to their boat, ramming straight into its side. I then strode up to helm and stared the captain down, as he has previously survived a cannonball he seemed the toughest opponent.

He flew before me, hiding in his cabin as we were forced to slaughter some of his crew. After seeing what we could do however I was able to convince them that it was not in their best interests to continue fighting, and they surrendered nicely, excluding the first mate who was forced to be put down. When the captain surfaced from his forced flight a little convincing on my part and he became a devoted member of our crew, and his fighting expertise was useful on the relatively dangerous expedition to the icy tundra.

We landed onshore without much difficulty, but unfortunately the arcanists who were said to occupy this island were round the other side, requiring significant expenditure on our part to get there, including a days journey and special winter clothes. Once there however I was affronted to find a sorcerer who greeted us. Luckily there were several wizards around who I was able to converse with on a near equal level, though only their so called master was close to my intelligence.

We took the opportunity to rest for the night, then set off up the mountain, with the wizard behind, hoping to collect some samples from the golems at the top of the mountain, who would unfortunately be resistant to my magics. It was on the way up that we encountered yetis, a large group of them, who were able to deal significant damage to the entire group, including myself, my innocence not enough to protect me. I was able to drive several away, and demoralize others, and in the end we fought and killed a good number of them, at least 15, and were on our way to the top.

The wizard died though, which while tragic news to his followers was a boon to me, for I collected his spellbook thus increasing my number of spells enormously, a fact which I'm sure will help the so called 'greater good'. This was the best treasure gained so far, and will assist in my pursuit of knowledge. At the top of the mountain we found two golems, but also a mercenary group we had met earlier. Luckily the mercenaries took the brunt of the attacks from the golems, though our resident druid contributed with several effective flame spells.

Once we had finished with that we found the cold egg ontop of a plinth, and seized it for our own, unsure of what it contained but sure that it would be of some use if we could hatch it. After descending down the mountain we stopped by the research lab to deliver the corpse of their master and to take as many books from the library as we could, as they were granted to us by his last request.

The rest of the day was spent tramping back to the ships, knowing that before too long our would be pursuers would catch up, if they hadn't already. Overall it was a prosperous trip, with no one of great importance being hurt, at least not severely. I did experience a certain fear, that of imminent death as the yetis had extremely powerful fists, enough to wound if not kill me immediately, I must do something to sort that out.

A death and an arm.

Over the past couple days we have had some interesting adventures, I will begin where the last entry left off. I continue my quest for knowledge, but unfortunately the island we were on seemed curiously absent of it, with no arcane casters of any kind. Luckily our activities had not attracted any unwanted attention, despite some minor arson, though it was justified according to the others in the party. We now had a choice, to kill a so called 'evil' man or to kill the relatively undefended dwarf who issued the request. The dwarf could be no better for accusing him of such a silly thing, and with a much easier, and less bloody path, we had chosen to murder the dwarf.

After some scouting we had determined that the best way would be for the warlock face to go and climb up the building, and to infiltrate it from the roof. We had also ascertained a sample of the dwarf's handwriting, and faked a suicide note, thus implicating everyone but us in his murder. He simply fell out a window after the warlock had done something to him, I am unsure of what, though he seems to fire some sort of arcane energy, weaker than my own but still of note. With this done we were able to claim the reward from the aristocrat, who we would eventually betray.

He delivered a fair sum for the murder, and showed us his ships, and the crews on them. Unfortunately the plan to take the flagship was impeded by the 20 or so men aboard, a difficult fight especially given the aptitude or lack of it shown by certain members. Instead we burned them down. I constructed another timed explosive device, and we delivered them to the ships as supplies, then sailed off as they detonated. Unfortunately this did not bring down all of their ships, just one of the three, adding some time pressure to our adventures on the next few islands, until we are sure we are rid of them.

Over the course of the journey I spent much of it with my tools, creating scrolls and alchemical items, still exploring this new art. The warrior as well spent much time crafting, making several small daggers, a small token but not entirely useless. Once we arrived though I was disappointed to see a lack of life, and though the island was claimed to be uninhabited, my raven saw a shack in the middle of the land that claimed otherwise. We set off in pursuit of what the aristocrat was looking for, and why he might investigate such a desolate place.

As we tramped out through the miserable land we were ambushed by some bandits with bows, who did quite a number on us, given we had expected no human presence. They were frightened of me though, and rightfully so. The rest of the party was able to dispatch them, though mostly due to our nature lover's crocodile, who at home in its natural territory excelled in combat. Unfortunately the warrior fell due to losing to a much physically weaker warrior, something which bears further examination when there is time.

With those defeated we could easily hazard a guess of what the shack would contain, and though it did contain an arcane caster, he was a sorcerer, without any physical evidence of spells I could learn nothing of value. The bandits that were with him proved to be some trouble, but in part due to a new spell I had picked up, summoning a slippery surface, they were defeated. The sorcerer however fled and we were forced to pursue.

All was not good with this victory however, as the warrior yet again showed his incompetence, though luckily it only affected himself. He had managed to cut off his arm with his axe. I almost felt something for him there lying on the ground, but given it was entirely his own fault it was difficult to empathize with him. Despite this seemingly disabling setback he still managed to push on ignoring all blood loss and pain to power through the shack, charging forwards foolishly, being hit by a bucket for his troubles.

Luckily we did find the false scholar, hiding in his room rummaging for one thing or another. He was guarded by three archers, but they were easily dealt with when the crocodile launched itself at their faces, ending them quickly. Now the one armed warrior was the one to get the finishing blow on the false scholar, delivering it with his own arm used as a bludgeoning weapon, barbaric but seemingly effective.

With that we took all the bandit's gold, a fair amount, and set off for the next island which is said to have real arcane casters, who I may learn from. They are apparently researching a frost covered mountain, which may prove to be of some interest, maybe the cold can preserve things for eternity.

Dawn of a new day

Throughout my tenure with this crew of 'adventurers' I had believed them to be largely competent, over the past few days I have learned this is largely not the case. I enlarged the warrior type, and he collapsed into a heap, missing as many blows as he hit. The foolish druid managed to get his crocodile to attack its own self, and the warlock had climbed his way up to the roof and proceeded to do little to nothing in the fight. The only semi-competent one is the priest, an inquisitor from one religion or another.

I began the day by setting out for this new town, which seemed to be in great need of help. There were four tasks and the townsfolk seemed helpless to accomplish even the simplest of them. We decided, or rather I decided, that we should head over and help the tavern owner, so perhaps we could get a good nights rest for once. That is what I miss most about Gol, he would always get the best rooms in the best taverns, now I am forced to scavenge like a beggar, though the people in the town pay fairly well. Upon arriving at the tavern we met an elven barmaid who the animals subsequently drooled over, typical. She requested us to go out to the forest and deliver some boars for the feast.

We set out for the trees, and without too much effort found a boar lying, apparently sleeping, in the grass. After some concentrated shots from the rest of them it still was not killed, just the beginnings of the day of failure that would happen. The boar was not alone however, and its few companions attempted to assault us from the sides. They were all quickly dealt with, in no small part because of my fearsome presence, though one of them seemed strangely resistant to it. After that I made sure we could deal with the rest by enlarging the resident warrior, and a few hits later and we had 6 succulent boar corpses ready for presentation.

Upon delivery the lady was most gratified, and though intimidated by the group and me, had not more money to give, so we were delivered a barrel of ale, which may come in handy later. We then set off and decided to deal with some disheartened shopkeepers, one in particular who requested we go deal with a man who had been buying up a large amount of property around the town, of course the shopkeep was a weak-minded fool, as so many of them are, so we were able to dupe him out of a small sum of gold. We went and saw the man, the aristocrat, who had been purchasing so many buildings, and decided that it would be better to work with him rather than against him. He drew up a fake document which we gave to the shopkeep, and he declared it enough and payed us for our services, we then offered to guard his shop from any potential arsonists.

Before this though, and we had some time, we escorted a doctor to go and collect some herbs. The druid here showed himself to not be completely incompetent, showing some initiative by calming some wild skunks who were hanging around the herbs patch, and collecting them himself. This was a minor diversion but we gained some useful healing devices, though they are mundane.

Little did he know that we had been payed to burn his shop to the ground, though not before helping ourselves to some useful equipment. No one around town cared anyway, an it was definitely not our fault, we were seen in the tavern at the time the place burned down, due to a clever little device I had rigged up, a delayed explosive of some sort. After this we prepared to go see the mayor, who had been complaining about one thing or another, and it turned out this time it was ants all throughout some abandoned gold mines. Unfortunately as is the case with mindless vermin, they have no sense of fear, so would not be affected by my significant talents.

This was where the party showed their true capabilities, with the warrior successfully missing a great deal, and me with my crossbow as the major damage dealer to the ant mother. The ants were surprising ineffective as well, damaging themselves and collapsing down even with no apparent cause, perhaps I overestimated the potential of these mindless creatures. Even with their terrible combat skills the ants managed to knock both the druid's pet and the warrior unconscious, so I was forced to finish the large ant off with a dash of acid into its vulnerable parts. With that done we were able to collect some of the gold from the mines which I'm sure will help in my research in how to become immortal.

With that done we returned to the mayor for another substantial monetary reward, though as we were leaving his son offered us a large reward if we were to kill the aristocrat who had been buying up the town. The reason given for this was that he is 'evil' and thus has to die, which is ridiculous by any logic. After seeing the aristocrat about it we were tasked to kill the boy for simply making such threats, and would be given a sizable reward for it. We were also offered the ability to sail with his 'fleet' which consists of only 3 ships, a pitiful number as I have ever seen. Instead we plan to burn them all down, and to escape from that place with his map, and hopefully to learn more about the islands featured on it, and attain as much wealth as we can find.

Another Fitting Conclusion

The prison warden was in fact a strong muscle man, who managed to cripple the totemist’s legs, as well as to do serious damage to the party as a whole. Interestingly the totemist actually pulled out his crossbow to shoot the man, missed, so threw his crossbow, missed again and then promptly gave up, simply too far to actually attack. The party was strong enough to haul him out of there, and with some help from a friendly saber tooth tiger and the engineer’s slow flying abilities they made it out safely.

So yet again the party is ejected from pleasant society and sent out to an unknown world. They didn’t even have time to spend all their ill gotten gains. What a shame. After leaving the city in a hurry they ran into significant trouble with some local wildlife, including a long respected party member meeting his ultimate fate, as well as a recently acquired factotum coming to an unfortunate end.

Before the party quite left the city they had to go to a tavern, because sometimes you just need a drink after a prison break. Some peculiar choices regarding healing after the escape were made, namely the complete lack of it, making what should have been an easy battle into something significantly more difficult. The previous owner of the party’s gold had finally caught up to them, and sent a few demons to deal with them.

These particular demons actually reflect some damage dealt to them back upon anyone in the area, resulting in mass casualties from the patrons of the tavern, as well as fairly large casualties from the party itself. The shapeshifter extraordinaire decided it was best to deal as much damage as possible to these creatures in as brief amount of time, despite his severely weakened team-mates objecting quite a lot.

In the end he came close to killing everyone else, but only killed the engineer and factotum, who were the victims of not having quite enough health, unlike the totemist who had just enough. With the party’s numbers down to 3 they decided it was best to leave the town they were wanted in, and headed towards their employer, the man who sent them after the bow. They were not the only ones sent out that day though, as a bard and his Warblade compatriot were sent off as well, by the crime lord still not known to the party.

This bard infiltrated the party through a few successful bluff checks, not difficult given the collective wisdom of the party is effectively negative, and then they were off together, ready for adventures of all kinds. The bard was very successful in his attempts at subversion, and at the first opportunity gave the large satchel of the money to a devil employed by his employer. This caused notable derision amongst the party, but a Warblade’s chain quickly put a stop to that, effective as it was at putting people down when its owner rolled well.

The party still continue their journey expecting a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but unfortunately all they would get is more pain and suffering. Not that they weren’t used to it, with so much personal and professional death happening around them all the time it had really become routine. There were several escapades on this journey, mostly involving bodily harm to a variety of wild life, but nothing of spectacular importance.

In the end they ended up at their destination, though it looked a little different than the last time they were there, given that the keeper had been grounded, or destroyed, so the huge animal lay slowly decomposing because a gentle repose just didn’t cover something the size of Chicago. Here they searched for their employer but all to no avail, in the end they decided to head back down towards the dragon egg just to see what would happen. That was when shit went down.

The dragon did not wake up no, so they weren’t completely screwed, but a different dragon teamed with some kobolds was still a significant threat. In the end the party was stuck between a rock and a hard place, with a dragon pelting mind bullets at them from the top of a ladder, kobolds descending quickly, and gnomes on the other side who looked none too friendly.

The bard was able to garner a truce, though with some difficulty given that the resident baboon rapist had bitten a few in two, but he was subsequently slaughtered by the bard as a show of good faith, one PC down. A wall of fire here proved difficult as it so often is, and even a brave man can be devoured by kobolds when there are enough of them. The Totemist here climbed up the ladder, clawing and throwing down numerous kobold corpses, though taken plenty of battle damage himself. In the end it was something not quite in his control that caused his death, but fateful gravity, killer of so many everyday.

He fell quite some way, nearly all down the ladder having killed dozens of kobolds, ripping them to pieces but it just wasn’t enough, because a dragon simply has too many tricks up its metaphorical sleeves. The truce with the gnomes however worked spectacularly and a battle plan was set up with a pincer formation. Unfortunately the enlarge person wand had broken again, just as it had done the three previous days. In the Warblade’s insanity he ripped apart a few gnomes in the hope the blood god would give him strength, but it did not, and simply resulted in a few pissed off gnomes.

The battle worked out in the party’s favour, with one of their new members having infiltrated the kobold’s ranks, and erupted to eat a few of them. He was truly the master of the forbidden feast, with a bag full of arms and a taste for flesh of any kind, as a part raven man. The gnomes took heavy losses, but just when things looked most dire and the dragon was advancing on the slowly dying party a miracle dropped through the sky.

First a strange gentleman calling himself Saxton Hale dropped through, creating a gap for the new party member who spoke only Gol-Ka, and who would subsequently be known as Penis-Man due to his introduction about home and a picture of a penis. Saxton Hale defeated the dragon with his bare hands, and then ran off never to be seen again, as is his way. Now in the after battle mop up the party is left tired and unsure of what to do next, but is quickly commissioned for some murder, as is their typical plan.

The party was recruited by a local leader of the church of Helio, the god of law and order, to go and investigate some necromantic happenings down below the city. This leader is actually a devil in disguise, who is planning for them to be murdered in this task, but they don’t know that quite yet. So they investigate the necromancer, who is actually building a nice little city for him and his undead buddies, but they can’t let that happen, because all undead are evil, so they begin the fight to end all fights, one way or another, but probably in TPK.

The conclusion to one party's partial story

Finally the platform arrives on the heart as before, and they see the god struggling, as if he is waking up, and if he does, it means the end of everything they hold dear, mostly their shop. Unfortunately in the way is something that appears to be an apparition of death, at least he sports the appearance, with a black cloak, scythe, and skeletal claw.

The party has to convince him that the world is worth saving, and that the world ending is not actually for the best. He argues that once the god wakes, everyone will be dead, so he won’t have to claim anymore after. Though this is true, the party still seeks to live, and argues ferociously with the thing that they are best at, words.

To the surprise of everyone this works, they convince this mysterious skeleton that the world is worth saving, that the god needs to be destroyed, and that they should be the ones to do it. So he disappears, and they are left alone with the god. The bard decides he should be the one to do it, and with a mighty stab he pierces the god’s heart, resulting in an enormous explosion of blue light, then nothing.

Then there is a huge crashing, and tumbling. Everyone falls down, and the entire dog appears to shake, and move. What has happened is that the controller of all of these animals has been killed. The cities that everyone had lived on are now collapsing, and everything will change.

So that is the story of a party of adventurers, doing the things they do best, looting, killing and stealing, and in the end doing the right thing, if for the wrong reasons. As for what happens afterwards, well, they make it out of the cave alive, and set out for a new world of discovery and demons, of delirium and desire, of Dungeons and Dragons.